kind of insane
by sbs187
Summary: He tries to convince himself that she's just some crazy fangirl, a groupie, and he really shouldn't get involved. But it's not that easy. AU Finchel.


_A/N: I wanted to do something that was completely AU so this is loosely based on a prompt I found at finchel-prompts on tumblr._

_Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Kind of insane<strong>_

_i._

His head throbs. His mouth feels like it's been stuffed full of cotton balls and the little bit of light that's flitting through the curtains is completely blinding him. And he feels a little sore too, but like the good kind of sore. Slowly, he props himself up on his elbows. Something tugs at the sheet covering him and as it slips down his chest he realizes that he's naked.

He also realizes that he's not alone. Soft, even breaths are coming from his left and something warm is pressed against his leg.

He turns around, preparing himself for what he might see – because he doesn't remember last night _at all_ – and his eyes fall on pouting lips and mile-long lashes that rest on flushed cheeks. His breath literally stops in his throat and his stomach lurches precariously.

That's Rachel. That is Rachel Berry, crazy fangirl and groupie extraordinaire, that's lying next to him. And from his own soreness, the fact that she doesn't seem to be wearing a stitch of clothing and that there's a light purple bruise just above her right boob – her boobs are naked and like right there, he can't help but notice – it's pretty obvious that they slept together.

He knows that maybe he's the crazy one – Puck definitely thinks so – and that lots of men, and women for that matter, would love to be in his shoes. Yeah, he's a famous drummer in a seriously popular band and girls follow him around and kind of throw themselves at him. But that's just not his style – taking advantage of his fame like that. He likes to think of himself as a nice guy, someone who doesn't sleep with random girls and then toss them to the side.

Although, he glances at the girl next to him through the corner of his eye, obviously he's broken what he thought was a very solid resolution to not get involved in any way with any of the girls that follow them around – especially Rachel Berry. He's had his fair share of offers though, but no one's been quite as vocal about it as Rachel. There's just something about her that literally makes him take a few steps back whenever she's around – which is pretty much all the time – she's just so _intense_.

He really wishes that he could remember anything from last night but most of it is still one big blur. He remembers their show – it was seriously awesome – and then he remembers Puck handing him a shot of Jack and telling him to "loosen the fuck up". And, yeah, that was obviously his first mistake.

He carefully glances back at Rachel. She's flopped over on her back, but is still sleeping soundly, her chest rises and falls with her even breaths. For a few moments he can't tear his eyes away from her. She's gorgeous. Probably one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen, which he guesses is one of the main reasons his resolve crumbled. But no matter how beautiful she is, he still can't go down that road.

He knows he's being a huge dick as he quietly slips off the bed. He knows he should wake her up and actually talk to her and explain to her why last night was a mistake. But he just can't bring himself to have that conversation. Having serious conversations is not something that comes easy to him and he knows he'll fuck it up and just hurt her even more. So he pulls on his jeans and tugs a t-shirt over his head, grabbing his shoes and jacket, and tiptoes through the door. He's sure that someone from the hotel – or his manager – can get the rest of his stuff later and tell Rachel that he's sorry.

Pulling on his baseball cap as far down as possible and adjusting his sunglasses he makes his way toward one of the backdoors of the hotel. Stumbling out into the bright sun he starts walking down the street in search of some coffee to soothe his throbbing head.

* * *

><p><em>ii.<em>

He decides to tell the rest of the band about what happened between him and Rachel when they're all sitting on the tour bus on their way to Cleveland. As it turns out they all pretty much already knew. Apparently he and Rachel were getting pretty handsy – and he may have shoved his tongue down her throat – before they left for his hotel room last night.

The fact that they already knew doesn't put a damper on their amusement though. Puck especially is laughing so hard he's bent over and clutching his sides as he howls loudly. He growls and mutters and tells them to shut up, but that only makes them laugh harder.

After a few minutes, Puck takes a few deep breaths and asks him, tears still dripping down his cheeks; "Why are you acting like this is some big fucking deal?" He quirks one eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest, looking at Finn like he's out of his mind. "I thought the whole reason we started this band back when we were fifteen was to get laid – "

"Actually I wanted to start it because I love music –" he tries, but Puck just scoffs at him and rolls his eyes.

"Whatever, Finnessa," Puck says, "I still don't get why you're getting your panties in a twist, just 'cause you fucked some groupie."

"Not just some groupie," he says, "_Rachel Berry_."

"The girl that's been throwing herself at you for the past month and a half?" Blaine asks and he nods. "To be fair, she's not really what you'd call a groupie, is she? I mean she and her gang of friends has been following us on tour for a while now and not once has she hit on any of us," Blaine says, making a sweeping motion across the bus, indicating himself and the other band members, Artie, Sam and Puck.

"That makes it even worse, dude," he sighs, "she was already attached. She's never really been shy about the fact that she's, you know, into me or whatever. Now she'll never leave me alone."

"And are you sure that's what you want?" Blaine says, raising a thick eyebrow at him.

He doesn't answer him. He just scoffs and grumbles and huffs and stalks away toward the back of the bus. Of course that is what he wants. It's Rachel Berry – she's crazy. Sure, she's pretty and she's probably one of the nicest people he's met and she's actually pretty funny… But she's a crazy fangirl.

Blaine has no idea what he's talking about. Besides Blaine's gay and he doesn't get any female groupies, so he can't possibly know what Finn is going through.

He's not like trying to brag or anything, but he knows that Rachel has a crush on him. She's told him on several occasions that they'd make a lovely couple – him; the hot male musician, and her; the struggling actress. She tells him that she thinks he's cute and that he's very talented – and okay, he kind of likes that.

But she's a nice girl and he doesn't want her to get too attached. He has no plans to ever date a fan and he doesn't want her to get her feelings hurt. He knows he needs to tell her this directly – even though he has told her so before the whole sleeping together may have given her the wrong impression – he just needs to figure out the best way of letting her down gently. He'll think about it and figure out something good to say.

* * *

><p><em>iii.<em>

He doesn't know what to tell her yet. Finding the right words to tell a girl that you're not really interested without sounding like a huge douche is hard. So he's decided to keep his distance from her until he knows what to say and for the past few days he's been trying really hard to avoid her. It really shouldn't be that hard to do because he's the famous musician and she's the crazy fangirl. But it is.

The other guys in the band cleared Rachel and her friends with the burly security men, which they keep around in case the attention they draw gets too insane, several weeks ago. Mostly so that they could get into her friends' pants. It's crazy; she even has a gay friend – Kurt – who constantly hits on Blaine. Since then apparently Rachel's even formed a bit of a friendship with one of the security men, asking about his daughter's clarinet recitals and stuff, so now he lets her go pretty much wherever she wants.

Not that he really minds though. It's not like Rachel or any of her friends are insane or dangerous or anything. They're harmless and all really nice – well, except for Santana who keeps calling him Sasquatch and Man Boobs – so they're kind of fun to be around. It's actually been pretty funny watching Puck and Sam fighting for Santana's attention.

So it's not like Puck or Sam, or Blaine even, is going to agree to stop having them around after shows just because he's trying to avoid Rachel. So he sucks it up and tries to get really good at hiding.

And that's the reason he's currently trying to make himself as small as possible – which is pretty fucking hard to do when you're a giant – behind a potted plant in a corner of the hotel lobby. He was on his way to the bar to join the others when out of nowhere Rachel came strolling through a door, her arm linked with Kurt's. He kind of panicked when he saw her and did the first thing that came to mind. Thinking on his toes isn't really his strong suit so it's not really a surprise that the first thing that he thought to do was a pretty stupid one.

Rachel and Kurt can totally see him, and they look at him with confusion – Rachel – and amusement – Kurt – in their eyes as they turn toward him.

"Finn!" Rachel exclaims happily and gives him a smile; though he's not sure it reaches her big doe eyes, "What are you doing behind that plant?"

"Oh… uh – " he stumbles over the words, the white top she's wearing dips dangerously low and he has a hard time not staring. Instead he fixes his gaze on a point somewhere over her left shoulder. "Uhm, I dropped my wallet," he says after a few moments' silence, hoping that it doesn't sound completely dumb.

Rachel beams at him. "I see," she says, "well, Kurt and I were just on our way to the hotel bar, I hear they make lovely Cosmos here, would you like to join us? I haven't got a chance to talk to you in days."

She reaches out and gives his arm a squeeze and he quickly takes two steps back, so that he's no longer within her reach.

"Oh, actually, I, uhm… I have to leave," he says, looking down at his feet as he hurriedly shuffles around Rachel and Kurt. He can feel their eyes on his back as he repeatedly pushes the elevator button, but he doesn't look back. He obviously needs to figure something out quickly to make Rachel understand that he cannot date her. He doesn't want to be a dick and like forbid her from being in the same room as he, even though he totally could do that, because he kind of likes her. She's cool. They just can't date or like sleep together and stuff. They can't.

* * *

><p><em>iv.<em>

He's sitting in the far back of a bar he found down the street from their hotel taking slow sips from a bottle of beer. The others went to get the VIP treatment and blow off steam after a long day on the tour bus at some nightclub but he didn't want to come. He figured that Rachel and her friends would find them there eventually so he opted to spend the night by himself in a much more anonymous setting. Taking another sip he pushes the baseball cap a little further down his forehead – he really just wants to be left alone tonight and think.

"Hi Finn"

Her voice is soft and sweet and the words are spoken quietly, but it's enough to make his head snap up so fast he almost sprains his neck. She's standing by the edge of the booth, her hands on her hips and her full lips pursed. Despite her confident stance he can tell that she's nervous and why shouldn't she be? This is the first time she's sought him out when he's completely alone, when he's nowhere near the rest of the band. So in a way she's crossed another line. Although maybe all lines were erased once they slept together.

Really, he should call her out on this stalkerish move. But of course he doesn't. "Rachel," he says, looking down at the bottle in his hand, "How did you know I was here?"

"Kurt and I bumped into Blaine," she says, shrugging her slim shoulders, "He told me you'd be here and, well, I thought this was a golden opportunity."

"For what?"

She looks right at him, hugging herself tighter. "To let you know that to make love to someone and then have your manager tell them 'you're sorry' and show them the door, that's not very chivalrous."

He's not sure what that means but from the look in her eyes he can tell it's not a good thing. Obviously he already knew that. He's felt really bad about how he acted, he really has, but now that he can actually see the hurt shining in her eyes – when she's letting her guard down – his stomach drops to his feet. He's a huge ass.

"I'm sorry," he says, looking up at her. He cocks his head at the other side of the booth and she sits down, folding her hands primly in front of her. "I know that was a super crappy thing to do. I should have been the one to talk to you – " she gives a slight bob of her head, "– but I woke up hung over, I'd no idea what had happened the night before and I found you naked next to me in bed… so I freaked."

"Why?" she asks and she's looking at him through her long lashes and she's biting her lip and he's getting all flustered. She's so pretty.

He looks back down at his half-empty bottle because it's easier to find the words when he's not looking at her. "Because I shouldn't have done it. It was wrong. I shouldn't have had sex with you. I… I can't give you anything. You know, at some point you're going to have to go back to school or whatever and I'll stay with the band and go on touring. You can't get your hopes up, you know."

"So, you regretted being with me because I'm just some fan?" she says.

"Yes!" he says before he can stop himself. "No. I mean no. You're not just some fan. But it's complicated."

"I… I thought you actually liked me, Finn," she says, wringing her hands, "I mean, we have spent time together. When girls try to hit on you, you send them to Puck or Sam or Artie, but you let me sit with you and drink and talk. I don't understand…"

"I do like you, Rachel," he says, "as a friend. You're fun to talk to – even though you talk a lot more than you should and mostly about yourself... You're cool Rach, but we can't be anything other than friends."

"You know, Finn," she says slowly, "I'm not some crazy groupie – I know that I surround myself with some people that might behave like that but I don't. I really like you – as more than just a friend. You're really talented and you're cute and you're a really great guy – most of the time," she adds with a raised brow. "I know I can come off too strong and that I'm intense, but that's because I believe that if you want something you should work hard for it. And I want you."

Her blunt statement makes him look at her. Even though it kind of scares him a bit, he actually likes her confidence. But he's made up his mind. "You shouldn't," he sighs, bringing the bottle up to his lips and tipping it, drinking deeply. "I told you, I can't give you what you want. I can't date you… That night was a mistake… I don't want you like that" He's pretty sure that last part's a lie and from the look she's giving him so is Rachel.

She reaches a hand across the table and places it gently on his forearm. Her thumb rubs against his rough skin and little jolts of lightning shoot all the way up his spine and makes him lightheaded. She smiles at him. "I think you do," she says.

He doesn't, he tells himself. He can't want that. He can't want her – she's the crazy fangirl who's been following him around. He shouldn't encourage her. He should tell her 'no' and tell her to go to her friends and let him drink his beer alone like he intended. He should. But he doesn't.

* * *

><p><em>v.<em>

This time he's completely aware of everything going on around him. Her hot breath spilling out in short puffs of air against his neck, leaving wet, hot marks on his skin. The way her voice vibrates against his throat as she whispers his name and sends shivers all over his body. Her fingers clenching the thin cotton of his t-shirt as she pulls him closer.

"I know you want me, Finn," she says, her mouth so close to his ear that her lips are touching the skin.

His lips quirks in a crooked smile and he chuckles quietly because by now it's pretty fucking obvious that he wants her. He has her pressed into the too soft mattress of his hotel room bed and she has one leg hooked over his hip. So instead of answering her, instead of telling her just how much he wants her, he bends down and captures her lips.

The kiss is slow at first. Kissing Rachel is new and he wants to take his time to explore her. The way she tastes so sweet. The little sounds she make when he nips at her bottom lip. Rachel's fingers rake through his hair and she whimpers into his mouth. He pulls away for just a second, to fill his lungs with air, and then he crashes his lips against hers again. This time their lips mold together with much more need and urgency. As his tongue slips into her mouth she rolls her hips against his and he thinks that he might explode.

"Please, baby," she purrs, rubbing up against him and he grows so hard it actually hurts, "I need you." She tugs on the hem of his t-shirt and he lets her pull it off and throw it to the side.

She's wearing some frilly summer dress and he deftly pulls the zipper down and slips it off of her. She's not wearing a bra, just the tiniest pair of panties he's ever seen. A strangled grunt escapes him and she giggles.

"Like what you see?" she teases.

He nods dumbly, having trouble tearing his eyes from her pert, naked breasts. He leans in, taking a taut nipple between his teeth and swirls his tongue around the hard little nub. Her breathy moans might be the best thing he's heard in his entire life. She grabs the back of his head and pushes him closer and he takes more of her perfect breast into his mouth and sucks hard.

His mind clouded by lust, he hardly even notice her hands slipping between them and working on his pants. Not until she's completely freed him and her small hands run along his entire length. He hisses as her fingers delicately ghost over his tip. "Oh God, Rach!" She squeezes him harder and his eyes roll back into his head.

"Please, Finn," she breaths again, "I want you inside me."

She lies back against the pillows and he quickly pulls a condom from his wallet and shucks his pants and boxers to the floor to join the rest of their clothes. She's looking at him with big, shining eyes as he positions himself above her. And she beams at him as he slowly pushes inside her. Her soft mewls and his ragged breaths are the only sounds surrounding them as their bodies start moving together with perfect rhythm.

Later as they lay tangled together, coming down from the most intense orgasm ever, her head resting on his chest and his arms locked securely around her waist, he can't help but think about how right it feels. He falls asleep as he listens to her slow, even breaths.

* * *

><p><em>vi.<em>

The moment he wakes up and feels Rachel's tiny body curled into his he knows. He doesn't want to know. But he does. He knows that once again he's completely screwed up.

He turns carefully, rolling from her grip. She mumbles something under her breath but she doesn't wake up. She truly is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. But that doesn't change anything. He's still him and she's still her. And he can't date her.

But he won't be a coward this time. She at least deserves that much. Really she deserves so much more but he's not the one to give it to her.

He leans in close, gently gripping her bare shoulder, and whispers against her ear; "Rachel. Rach, it's time to wake up," as he gives her shoulder a soft shake.

Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at him. Her lips tilt in a smile and her hand cups his cheek. "Finn," she says, her voice scratchy and filled with sleep, "you're still here." She smiles wider. "I knew you wouldn't leave this time."

His stomach rolls itself into a tight not, because that's just what he's about to do. He's going to leave her again. He's just the one to tell her this time instead of his manager. She probably won't forgive him and that's probably for the best. It's better than her getting attached to him, expecting things he can't give her and then getting her heart broken.

She tries to pull him closer, to plant a kiss on his lips, but he pulls away. She looks surprised. "Finn, what wrong?"

He sits up and she follows, pulling the sheet tightly around herself to cover up. "Last night was a mistake," he blurts out. There's a reason he needs time to think about what to say in situations like this, he never ever says the right thing.

"What do you mean?" she asks pulling away from him. "I thought you wanted to…"

"I did," he says quickly, "I did want to, but I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me. I mean I told you why we can never work and they're good reasons, it makes sense. But I screwed up and – "

His rambling is cut short by Rachel's open palm connecting with his face, the sound of flesh against flesh reverberating around the room. "You know what, Finn Hudson?" she says as she scrambles off the bed, the sheet still tightly wrapped around her body, and starts picking up her clothes off of the floor. "Forget about it! It's obvious to me now that I'm nothing but a silly, willing little groupie to you. Don't worry I'll leave you alone from now on." She angrily picks her shoes off the floor and flings the door open, preparing to storm off.

"No, Rachel, wait!" he says, jumping off the bed. But the only answer he gets is the loud thud of the door slamming closed in his face.

* * *

><p><em>vii.<em>

Puck's laughing if possible even harder this time and he kind of really feels like punching him in the teeth. He restrains himself and simply glowers at him, and the rest of the band all watching him with various degrees of incredulity in their eyes.

"You – are – fucking – priceless," Puck wheezes.

"Shut up," he says, deciding to punch Puck in the arm instead.

"Do you need some sort of lesson in hooking up with groupies?" Puck asks, ignoring him, as he rubs the spot on his arm where Finn's fist landed, "If you come across a crazy one – and Berry's definitely on the top of the crazy pile – you fuck her once and never look back. That's the way the Puckerone does it."

Sighing he turns his back to Puck and looks at the others. "I completely screwed this up," he says, "I don't know what I should do. Should I like call and apologize or something or write a letter. Maybe I could like bake her cookies or something, but I don't really know how to bake and I don't have her number – "

"Finn," Blaine cuts him off, "I think that maybe it's for the best if you just move on. You've said it yourself that you don't want to get involved with her – well, any more than you already have at least – so don't let her get her hopes up again."

"Oh," he says, unable to hide the crestfallen look that edges its way into his eyes, "uh, I guess you're right dude. I should probably just let it go, right?"

"You should," Artie chimes in, rolling closer to Finn, "If you're not going to pursue something with her then I think you should just leave her alone. We've all seen the way she acts around you, so it's pretty obvious what she wants and if you don't want that then it's probably best to take a step back."

Finn nods and sits down on the couch. He gets what they're saying, but his head is so confused. "Yeah… yeah," he says, "it'd be a bad idea to start something with her, right?"

"Yes!" comes Puck's voice from the other end of the bus, "It'd be a horrible idea for you to date anyone. We're sex sharks, Hudson! No women can tie us down, especially one that tiny and annoying."

"That's totally up to you man," Sam says, also ignoring Puck, "I mean we'd have no problem with it, right guys?" He's looking at the others who are all shaking their heads – except for Puck but Finn's ignoring him. "I say, if you like her then you should totally just go for it. Do you? _Like_ her, I mean."

"I don't know. I mean yeah, I guess I do. She's kind of insane but in a really sweet, quirky way and she's like the nicest person I've ever met and she's so intense but like in a good way, she's just really confident, you know. And she's so pretty… No, she's not just pretty, she's beautiful."

The others chuckle and he stops talking, as he realizes that he's rambling again.

"I don't know about you, but to me it definitely sounds like you _like _her," Blaine says, putting emphasis on 'like' and raises both eyebrows. "Maybe you should just take some time to think about it, Finn."

He nods his assent and turns around, walking toward the cots in the back of the bus. As he falls down on the narrow bed his mind is buzzing with activity. He's never said all of those things about Rachel out loud before. When those thoughts crept up in his mind before he just kind of ignored them or tried to push them back down. Because he was so determined to not think like that about a fan, he kind of ignored that little feeling he gets whenever Rachel's around. When he sees her he feels all warm inside and his heart does a little flip and when he looks at her he can't help but smile.

And, oh man, just like that he realizes that he's totally into Rachel – Rachel Berry – the crazy fangirl.

And the more he thinks about it the more he starts thinking that he might even love her.

* * *

><p><em>viii.<em>

He scans the bar an hour after they've gone off stage. He tried to get a good look of the audience, but the spotlights were too bright so he couldn't see a thing. But she has to be there. She's always there.

He can see Santana with her arm around Puck. He can see Brittany sitting in Artie's lap and he can see Mercedes and Sam sitting in the far back, their heads close together. But he can't see Rachel anywhere. She's not there.

He makes his way over to Santana and Puck. "Hey, have you guys seen Rachel?" he says.

"She's not here," Santana snaps, glaring at him in a way that makes him very nervous.

"Uhm, okay, do you know where she is?" he says carefully.

"Of course I do, Orca," she says, "she left; she's back in New York. And if you so much as think about following her I promise you I'll give you a personal demonstration of what goes on in Lima Heights Adjacent after dark."

Quickly, before Santana has time to execute any of her threats, he turns around and stumbles away. Nearly crashing into a table, he realizes that the people he almost knocked over are Blaine and Kurt. "Hey," he says, "Mind if I join you?"

Blaine looks a little put out but Kurt is shaking his head vigorously so he takes a seat next to them. "Uhm, so," he mumbles, looking up at Kurt, "Uh, I heard Rachel's left."

"Oh," Kurt looks stunned for a brief moment, "Well, yes, she went back to New York yesterday. I uhm, I thought you knew that."

"I didn't," he says, "I thought she'd stay with you guys. I… I kind of need to talk to her."

"Oh," Kurt says again, pursing his lips together, "She gave me the impression that you've said all you needed to say to each other."

"Well, some new stuff has kind of come up," he says, "important stuff, so I kind of really need to talk to her."

"May I ask what this really important stuff is about?"

"Uh… that I think I'm in love with her." He can feel his cheeks flush at the admission. It feels weird to say it out loud, but he's had a few days to really think about it – so much that his head hurts – and he knows it's the truth.

"Oh my god!" Kurt squeals, bouncing in his seat and clapping so hard he knocks over his Appletini. "I knew it! I knew from the way she was talking about you that there was something more between you two!"

"That's great and all, dude," he says, shaking his head, "But she was really angry the last time I talked to her, so I don't think she's all that crazy about me right now."

"Oh, details, details," Kurt says, "You just need some grand gesture to win her back. Rachel loves big, romantic proclamations." He looks down at his hands, obviously thinking, for a few moments and then he looks back up at Finn with determination in his eyes. "Your last show is in two weeks, right?"

"Yes, in New York," he says.

"Good. I'll tell you what, I promise that I will get Rachel to that show and then it's up to you to do something amazing for her. You need to knock her knee highs right off, you understand?"

"I will," he says, feeling his chest expand with confidence. He just thought of the perfect idea.

* * *

><p><em>ix.<em>

He wipes the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand and squints at the audience. He's hoping that maybe he can spot Rachel somewhere among all the faces. But the place is packed and he's blinded by the lights and can hardly see a thing.

He'll just have to trust that Kurt was able to persuade her to come. He sits back down just as Blaine is about to introduce the next song and takes a few deep breaths and chugs some water.

"Okay, you guys," Blaine says into the microphone and the crowd cheers, "since this is a special night, the end of our tour, we'd like to change things up a bit. So, we're going to debut a brand new song for you!" The audience claps and shouts and Finn can feel his heart slowly creeping up his throat. "And…" Blaine continues, "Since this song is all his, you all will get to hear Finn sing tonight! Come on over, buddy."

Getting off the stool behind his drum set, and grabbing the acoustic guitar he'd kept behind him; he makes his way to the front of the stage and sits down. As he wraps one hand around the microphone he's still trying to see if maybe he can spot her, but he can't. "Uh, hey guys," he says, he never really does the talking, Blaine does that, so he's not sure what to say – plus he's really, fucking nervous, "uh, so this is a new song and it's for a really special person. It's called "Pretending."

Closing his eyes, he begins strumming the guitar and sings the first few words of the song; "Face to face, and heart to heart…"

* * *

><p><em>x.<em>

He's standing behind the stage, drinking deeply from a bottle of water. Their show ended half-an-hour ago and the rest of the band is long gone. But he needs a few more minutes. He has no idea whether Rachel was at their show or not, so he doesn't really know what it is exactly that he is putting off. Maybe the disappointment of finding out that she didn't even want to come. Or maybe he's dragging his feet just a little because she's out there somewhere waiting for him.

He's completely lost inside his own head when there's a gentle knock on the door. Snapping to and spinning around he spots her just as she's tentatively walking through the door.

"Hi, Finn," she says, looking up at him with those big brown eyes.

"Hey," he says, he still has the bottle of water against his lips and a few drops dribble down his chin.

She takes a few more steps and finally she's so close that he could touch her if he wanted to. He wants to, but he doesn't really dare to move. He's seriously scared that she's there to tell him to go screw himself.

"You wrote me a song," she says.

He's not really sure if it's a question or a statement so he just kind of nods.

"Why?"

He shrugs, "I'm not really good with explaining what I'm thinking and feeling," he says, "I kind of stumble over the words and I ramble and I never get to the point – " she smiles at him and he realizes that's just what he's doing and he laughs nervously " – so, uh, I needed another way to explain to you what's going on inside my head."

"It was a very beautiful song, Finn," she says.

"Thanks." He rubs the back of his neck. He's not sure what to say, his brain seems to have frozen. All he can think is that she's so gorgeous and she's there and all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her.

After a few moments Rachel breaks the thick silence and he's so relieved that someone's talking that he almost falls over. "Finn," she says, "You know, you really hurt me – "

"I know and I'm sorry," he cuts in, but she continues as if she didn't hear him.

"I know I came on really strong and I understand that I freaked you out. That's not to say I condone your behavior but I do kind of understand it. I guess I just wanted you too much. I want everything too much."

"Rachel." It's his turn to cut her off and she looks at him with hopeful eyes. "I liked you," he says, "but I hid behind the fact that you're a fan because I didn't really know what to do about the way I felt. Actually I don't think I understood how I felt."

"You _liked_ me," she says slowly, her shoulders slumping a bit.

"Yeah," he says and she takes a few steps back but he follows. "But now," he adds quickly when he sees the disappointment in her eyes, "I think I might love you."

"Oh Finn!" she squeals and throws herself at him. Wrapping her arms around him, she stands on her toes and presses her lips to his cheek. "I think I might love you too."

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><p><em>xi.<em>

He's lying on his cot in the back of the bus when his phone buzzes on the table next to him. A wide smile stretches across his face as her name appears on the display. "Hey, babe!" he answers.

"Hi Finn!"

He smiles even wider at the sound of her voice. He's been on tour for two months and he's really, really, really missing her. He misses her face and listening to her singing and practicing her lines and waking up next to her every morning. "What's up?"

"Well, as you know," she says and her voice holds a teasing lilt, "I have a few weeks off before rehearsals start so I just wanted to let you know my plans."

"Okay," he smiles.

She smiles too; he can hear it in her voice. "I thought I'd follow this really great band around on tour. You know, throw myself at their sexy drummer, lure him into bed and try to make him mine."

He can't help but laugh. When she says it like that it sounds kind of insane. He loves that she's kind of insane though. He loves her. "Sounds like a plan, babe," he says.

He can't wait.

_FIN_

* * *

><p><em>Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, remember reviews are love. :)<em>


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